The weather is turning cooler and the leaves begin to change as the season turns to fall. For many, this time of year is calm and relaxing, but for one population, it is a somber time of year.
Every year, from the end of September to the first week of January, thousands of women watch their husbands walk out the door leaving them a Hunter’s Widow! Even though it is an expected occurrence, it is always a difficult time of year.
The Urban Dictionary defines a Hunter’s Widow as: the spouse or significant other of a hunter, whom, during hunting season, is typically left alone, “widowed” by their hunter spouse’s prolonged absences; includes sleeping alone in the marriage bed, extra essential childcare responsibilities (for those with children), refrigerator depleted of beer supplies, bank account depleted of financial supplies, all for the possibility of said hunter spouse bringing home some fresh meat. Many wives struggle with what to do during this time to continue with their lives, alone, and it can be a source of many arguments. So what is one to do?
There is the Nagging Widow. This is a person who spends countless hours stewing in their anger over their spouse’s absence and takes every opportunity to call or text whenever their spouse is in the woods. The questions generally consist of “What time will you be home?” or “Are you done hunting yet?” This type of widow generally has the most difficult time dealing with the situation, as this approach usually leads to heated arguments and long days or weeks of the silent treatment.
Next, there is the Passive Aggressive Widow. This widow will feign approval but will take every opportunity to make snide jabs and backhanded comments at their spouse’s extracurricular activity. They will often lead with “Did you catch anything?” They know the objective is to shoot a deer, but this phrase simply digs at the entire nature of what you have spent so much time doing. It lets the hunter know that even though they have been talking nonstop for months about hunting and have spent their life honing their skills, that none of that was ever heard or acknowledged. (Or so they’d have you think).
Then there is the I Will Change Him, Widow. This widow will spend countless hours devising plans to get their spouse to abandon their passion for hunting and spend the entire fall hand in hand with them. They will purchase lingerie, cook extravagant meals and plan fun outings. This usually leads to much frustration when their spouse immediately leaves following the planned activity to go hunting.
And finally, there is the I Give up Widow. This type of widow can take two different forms. First, there is the widow who will simply come to grips with the fact that their spouse will be in a tree every free moment until all their tags are filled. This widow generally will plan life as though their spouse does not exist. They will take the kids out, cook meals and eat without worrying when their spouse will be home and they will go to bed when they choose. Life goes on as if the hunter never existed until their prompt return in January. Second is the widow with the mindset that if they ever want to see their spouse they need to participate in the activity with him. They will learn to hunt and accompany their spouse on hunts. This works well in the beginning when they are learning and get to snuggle in the stand, but once they learn enough they are put in a tree alone and still do not get to see their spouse.
Hunting season can bring with it much excitement for the hunter but can bring despair for their spouse. As with anything in a relationship, there has to be a give and take.
For the hunter, plan out a few dates during hunting season to take your spouse out on a date, you know, so they can be sure you’re still alive. Pitch in during those non hunting hours and help them around the house. The more you do the more consideration you will receive when you get to go hunt.
And for the non-hunter, plan your time with your spouse around the peek hunting times. Here are a few tips. Never, never ever plan anything on opening weekend! To the best of your ability utilize your hunters time between 12 p.m. and 3 p.m. or after 10 p.m. (unless they harvested an animal because then they will be busy processing). Never text from 1 hour before sunup to at least 1 hour after sun up. They may text you if the game isn’t moving, but let them dictate the conversation because you cannot see what they see. Never call until 1 hour after sundown and please never attempt to face time during hunting hours. Take solace in the fact that your spouse comes home to you and when they are away, they are 20’ up a tree alone. There is a balance in the relationship between the hunter and their widow and if they both work to help the other, everyone wins.
My name is Michael.
I’m a Christian, husband, father, and hunter, in that order. I have spent the last 13 years learning all I can about all aspects of hunting and enjoy learning more every day. I have a wonderful wife and 3 amazing children! I have lived in Paris all my life and I love my community!
Talk to the experts, and check out hunting essentials at Broadhead Barn in Reno, Texas.